daisyduke 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Saturday, February 04, 2006
Posts: 4574
Location:
Bolton
United Kingdom
LITTLE Mark ON MATHS
A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you
shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little MARK.
He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your
thinking."
Then little MARK says, "I have a question for YOU.
There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:
One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.
The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.
The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.
Which one is married?"
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the one
that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
To which Little MARK replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the
Wedding ring on," but I like your thinking."
LITTLE MARK ON MATH (Part 2)
Little MARK returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic
"Why?" asks the father?
"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3,'" I said "6", replies MARK.
"But that's right!" says his dad.
"Yeah, but then she asked me "How much is 3x2?'"
"What's the f ** king difference?" asks the father
"That's what I said!"
LITTLE MARK ON ENGLISH
Little MARK goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to
learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a
multi-syllable word?"
MARK says "Mas-tur-bate."
Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little MARK, that's a mouthful."
Little MARK says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
LITTLE MARK ON GRAMMAR
Little MARK was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to go
to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!"
The teacher replied, 'Now, MARK, that is NOT the proper word to use in
this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.'
Please use the word 'ur-I-nate' in a sentence correctly, and I will
allow You to go."
Little MARK, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but if
you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"
LITTLE MARK ON GRAMMAR (Part 2)
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a
show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same
sentence twice.
First, she called! On little Suzie, who responded with, "My father
bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little
Michael.
"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully."
She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly called on
little MARK.
"Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was
Pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just f ** king beautiful!'"
LITTLE MARK ON GETTING OLDER
Little MARK was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar
after another.
After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him said,
"Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give
you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
Little MARK replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
Little MARK answered, "No, he minded his own f ** king business.
I LOVE Little MARK!!!!!
Replies
Little Mark - Posted on 2007-02-03 21:43:11
the_ox 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Saturday, October 30, 2004
Posts: 8803
Location:
London
United Kingdom
pmsl
Little Mark - Posted on 2007-02-04 11:39:46
ohsomadeddie 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Monday, June 27, 2005
Posts: 705
Location:
bottom of a newki broon bottle
United Kingdom
Little Mark - Posted on 2007-02-03 21:26:55
Little Mark - Posted on 2007-02-03 21:43:11
Little Mark - Posted on 2007-02-04 11:39:46
