Morning all & why do we? - Posted on 2006-12-07 08:32:07
kenp1947 1300cc Superstar
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Posts: 771
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Wet and windy here and why do we ?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
Why do we never hear father-in-law jokes?
Replies
Morning all & why do we? - Posted on 2006-12-07 08:44:47
Roeby 1300cc Superstar
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pmsl@ken
very good they have got me thinking lol
morning btw
Morning all & why do we? - Posted on 2006-12-07 09:38:44
darcey 1300cc Superstar
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pmsl very true we re so ridiculous are nt we...lol
Morning all & why do we? - Posted on 2006-12-07 09:42:00
gfisher 1300cc Superstar
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Morning all ahve a good day
Morning all & why do we? - Posted on 2006-12-07 09:42:00
gfisher 1300cc Superstar
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Morning all ahve a good day
Morning all & why do we? - Posted on 2006-12-07 09:43:59
darcey 1300cc Superstar
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lol morning everyone have a happy day...I see you re up to it to Fish...double taking!
Morning all & why do we? - Posted on 2006-12-07 10:58:54
suzuki_goddess 1300cc Superstar
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Jersey
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morning everyone. sun's out over here. all that's very true kemp!!!
Morning all & why do we? - Posted on 2006-12-07 11:02:17
wrossixxx 1300cc Superstar
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Chesterfield
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lol theyre excellent ken nice one lol Goooooood morning everyone xxxxxxxxx bloody typical i get a day off work and decide to go do some shopping and yes you guessed it it peees it down !!!! im not going anywhere in this weather lol and its cold too lol....
Have a good day everyone xxxxxxxx
Morning all & why do we? - Posted on 2006-12-07 12:06:08
ana 1300cc Superstar
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colchester
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good ones ken,, and afternoon all, lousey here today , not nice at all,
Morning all & why do we? - Posted on 2006-12-07 13:19:10
Colin 1000cc Pro Racer
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Funny but true Ken lol
Morning all & why do we? - Posted on 2006-12-07 14:18:00
The_Reverend 1300cc Superstar
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Posts: 1078
Location:
Coventry: Why?
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In order:
1) Because it makes them work harder.
2) Because they want to punish you for being poor
3) Because you can’t reach the stars to check
4) Because (as any fule kno) glue sticks worst when it gets where it SHOULDN’T be.
5) Because they don’t want to risk being sued for causing infection
6) Because he shaves
7) Because revolvers are heavier than bullets and therefore hurt more………DUH!
8) So that they don’t hurt their heads when they crash.
9) The same person who had the idea that every meeting of alcoholics anonymous
should start by someone standing up and saying “My name is ……”
10) Everyone has relatives they don’t like to talk about.
11) Because the waters always clear and so balances things out
12) Usually the day you actually have to buy one RIGHT NOW.
13) I blame marijuana
14) Because first they have to check that it is not the hugely rare and endangered etoliated carpet leech
15) This is similar to Schrodinger’s cat and due to the uncertainty principle, basically the open end of the bag is determined by the act of trying to open it at the other end. In their natural state bags are sealed at both ends.
16) The same way they get ships into bottles.
17) Because we are British!
18) Conservation of momentum.
19) Because we live with women, a separate species who have been scientifically proven to have a comfort envelope of 0.25 degrees centigrade between “I’m freezing” and “I’m boiling”. Please not that this envelope includes changing from Arctic survival gear to shorts and a T shirt.
20) There is absolutely nothing funny about smelly, lecherous old men.
Morning all & why do we? - Posted on 2006-12-07 14:19:27
The_Reverend 1300cc Superstar
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Sorry, point 14) should have read "Because first they have to check that it is not the hugely rare and endangered ETIOLATED carpet leech!"
My apologies for any confusion caused.
Embarassed? Honestly, I don't know where to put my face.
Morning all & why do we? - Posted on 2006-12-07 08:32:07
Morning all & why do we? - Posted on 2006-12-07 12:06:08
Morning all & why do we? - Posted on 2006-12-07 14:18:00
