Rules for ladies to follow - Posted on 2005-02-23 18:20:33
Scoot_R_tramp 50cc Newbie
Joined:
Monday, November 15, 2004
Posts: 5
Location:
Pittsburgh
United States
Ladies if you follow this simple rules you will never have a problem with your man.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us bitching about you leaving it down.
1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see
if we can find the perfect present yet again!
1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
tides. Let it be.
1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive
than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of
it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think
we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with
your dress?
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Check your oil! Please.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We
refuse to answer.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the
ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it
yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of
mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an
answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
fine. Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
1. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping.
Rules for ladies to follow - Posted on 2005-02-23 18:35:52
bear 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Friday, October 29, 2004
Posts: 5790
Location:
cumbria
United Kingdom
pmsl hide scoot quick. lol
Rules for ladies to follow - Posted on 2005-02-23 19:20:06
rev_ 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Thursday, January 13, 2005
Posts: 3068
Location:
Coventry
United Kingdom
my missus read this and it all became apperent! guys show it to your other halfs and see what happens......
you may need to show it more than once though........
and find the raw steak for the bruise on your head from the flying iron....
glad it wasnt hot!
Rules for ladies to follow - Posted on 2005-02-23 19:47:23
the_ox 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Saturday, October 30, 2004
Posts: 8803
Location:
London
United Kingdom
All true but never ever ever forget mothers day....................ya been warned!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rules for ladies to follow - Posted on 2005-02-23 21:04:48
Roeby 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Posts: 8884
Location:
Derbyshire
United Kingdom
hmmmmmmmmm where did i put that ignore button again?
i can't be doing with seeing peoples mouths move but all i can hear is BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!!!!!!
Rules for ladies to follow - Posted on 2005-02-23 21:52:12
jayr1cooper 750cc Boy Racer
Joined:
Sunday, November 21, 2004
Posts: 156
Location:
Eastbourne
United Kingdom
good for you m8 and enjoy your night on the sofa they are very amusing
Rules for ladies to follow - Posted on 2005-02-23 22:31:20
cluadia 125cc Learner
Joined:
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
Posts: 15
Location:
Lincoln
United Kingdom
Has she realy had a headache for 17 months. What are you doing wrong?
Rules for ladies to follow - Posted on 2005-02-24 00:29:56
pmsl funny..... roeby u just do ur job lol
ps: like we say back home a man can be the head of the house but a woman is the neck and she can turn the head at any direction she wants hehe
Rules for ladies to follow - Posted on 2005-02-24 01:47:38
sky 125cc Learner
Joined:
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
Posts: 18
Location:
Lehighton
United States
what kind of shit is that
Rules for ladies to follow - Posted on 2005-02-24 09:12:45
the_grim_reaper 1000cc Pro Racer
Joined:
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
Posts: 288
Location:
Southampton
United Kingdom
I think it's meant to be humourous, Sky (exceot the bit about the shoes, that's true ;-))
Cheers
Grim
Rules for ladies to follow - Posted on 2005-02-24 09:43:23
Zx6man 50cc Newbie
Joined:
Monday, January 31, 2005
Posts: 5
Location:
Leeds
United Kingdom
Its Law apparently.....
Rules for ladies to follow - Posted on 2005-02-24 11:23:11
Roeby 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Posts: 8884
Location:
Derbyshire
United Kingdom
pmsl@chick
my Nan used to tell me that, then she would say watch this ......... and get my Grandad to do what ever she wanted lol
And I'm sorry MEN but if we r so bad why the hell can't u function without us but yet we can manage without u???
Rules for ladies to follow - Posted on 2005-02-24 12:55:16
graz79 250cc Rider
Joined:
Friday, November 05, 2004
Posts: 30
Location:
Newcastle Upon Tyne
United Kingdom
Roeby woman can not function without us...as of yet ann summers do not have anything that can reach onto high cupboards or remove spiders so we are safe!!
Rules for ladies to follow - Posted on 2005-02-24 13:08:18
Roeby 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Posts: 8884
Location:
Derbyshire
United Kingdom
graz i'm quite tall so i can usually reach but if it was too high theres always a chair and as for spiders if its little i'd be ok but if it was big then the hammer comes out simple. lol
Rules for ladies to follow - Posted on 2005-02-24 14:15:41
joeboxer 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
Posts: 2358
Location:
Sheffield
United Kingdom
no need to make a scene ladies these are very reasonable!!
Rules for ladies to follow - Posted on 2005-02-24 16:44:27
realslapper 600cc Boy Racer
Joined:
Monday, November 01, 2004
Posts: 135
Location:
derry
United Kingdom
wouldnt it be handier just to shoot the bitch who wants to listen to moanin men
Rules for ladies to follow - Posted on 2005-02-23 18:20:33
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Rules for ladies to follow - Posted on 2005-02-23 18:35:52
Rules for ladies to follow - Posted on 2005-02-23 19:20:06
Rules for ladies to follow - Posted on 2005-02-23 19:47:23
