Answers on a postcard please.......... - Posted on 2005-01-13 11:54:44
bubblesloves69 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
Posts: 1352
Location:
Next door to a pub in an interbred village, Kent
United Kingdom
A pizza can get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Supermarkets make sick people walk to the back of the shop to get
prescriptions, while healthy people buy cigarettes at the front.
People order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET Coke.
Banks leave doors open - then chain the pens to the counters.
We leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock
lawn-mowers in the garage.
We use answering machines to screen calls and then have "call waiting"
so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the
first place.
Shops sell lemon juice made with artificial flavorings and dishwashing
liquid made with real lemons.
There are shops open 24 hours a day, 365 days of the year, but they
put
locks on the doors.
People pay to go up tall buildings, and then put money in binoculars
to
look at things on the ground.
When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the tube?
Why do you press harder on a remote when you know the battery is dead?
Why does the sun lighten our hair but darken our skin?
If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the
pan?
Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why call the man who invests all your money, a broker?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered
assassinated instead of murdered?
Why don't you ever see the headline: "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
If the black box is meant to stay intact in a plane crash, why don't
they make the planes from the same material as the black box?
Why, in America, do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
If dropped toast always lands buttered side down and a cat always
lands
on its feet, what would happen if you tied buttered toast to the back
of
a cat and dropped them?
Why isn't "phonetic" spelled the way it sounds?
Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
What is another word for "thesaurus"?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
What do you do if an endangered animal eats only endangered plants?
If flying is so safe, why do they insist on calling the airport
building
the terminal?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an S in it?
When the inventor of the drawing board messed things up, what did he
go
back to?
What do you call a male ladybird?
Why does your nose run and your feet smell?
Why isn't there a shorter word for "monosyllabic"?
Why do fully-qualified doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
What's the difference between flammable and inflammable?
Why is there an expiry date on sour cream?
Why can't women put on mascara with their mouths closed?
Why is a bra singular and knickers plural?
Why can't you make another word using all the letters in "anagram"?
Why can't we tickle ourselves?
Replies
Answers on a postcard please.......... - Posted on 2005-01-13 12:04:53
bear 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Friday, October 29, 2004
Posts: 5790
Location:
cumbria
United Kingdom
ROFLMAO nice one bubs. and the awnser to all of them is i dont know
Answers on a postcard please.......... - Posted on 2005-01-13 13:22:59
exmitoman 1000cc Pro Racer
Joined:
Friday, November 05, 2004
Posts: 268
Location:
herne bay
United Kingdom
If dropped toast always lands buttered side down and a cat always
lands
on its feet, what would happen if you tied buttered toast to the back
of
a cat and dropped them?
PMSL
Answers on a postcard please.......... - Posted on 2005-01-13 13:27:46
hornyangel 1000cc Pro Racer
Joined:
Friday, November 05, 2004
Posts: 216
Location:
huntingdon
United Kingdom
ROFL they are all so true.................
Answers on a postcard please.......... - Posted on 2005-01-13 14:57:19
macr1 600cc Boy Racer
Joined:
Friday, October 29, 2004
Posts: 126
Location:
belfast
Ireland
so true bubbles, u could ask weasle about the banks leaving their doors open, lol
Answers on a postcard please.......... - Posted on 2005-01-13 16:44:47
realslapper 600cc Boy Racer
Joined:
Monday, November 01, 2004
Posts: 135
Location:
derry
United Kingdom
why do people put there phones on silent all the time {big hint}
Answers on a postcard please.......... - Posted on 2005-01-13 16:59:30
vibro 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Saturday, October 30, 2004
Posts: 767
Location:
lincoln
United Kingdom
why is it when your courting your girlfriend she cant wait to get her tits out for you to play with .......as soon as yermarried its ....you can leave them alone theyre for the kids ??....as for all the above exellent
Answers on a postcard please.......... - Posted on 2005-01-13 17:17:22
Roeby 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Posts: 8884
Location:
Derbyshire
United Kingdom
very good bubbs i laughed at so many of those and the funnest thing is most of them r sooooooooo true.
Answers on a postcard please.......... - Posted on 2005-01-13 18:46:26
firebladebabe 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Thursday, November 04, 2004
Posts: 641
Location:
greenock
United Kingdom
thats coz supermarkets
couldn't get a clue during clue mating season in a field of clues if you smeared your body in musk and did the clue mating dance.
Answers on a postcard please.......... - Posted on 2005-01-13 18:48:19
firebladebabe 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Thursday, November 04, 2004
Posts: 641
Location:
greenock
United Kingdom
oopppsss that should be THEY and NOT and i say again NOT you
Answers on a postcard please.......... - Posted on 2005-01-13 18:49:16
firebladebabe 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Thursday, November 04, 2004
Posts: 641
Location:
greenock
United Kingdom
oh yes i buggerd that up so i'll start again shall i................well i havent slept yet
Answers on a postcard please.......... - Posted on 2005-01-13 18:49:54
firebladebabe 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Thursday, November 04, 2004
Posts: 641
Location:
greenock
United Kingdom
thats coz supermarkets
they couldn't get a clue during clue mating season in a field of clues if they smeared thier body in musk and did the clue mating dance.
Answers on a postcard please.......... - Posted on 2005-01-13 18:50:57
firebladebabe 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Thursday, November 04, 2004
Posts: 641
Location:
greenock
United Kingdom
ok im done now
Answers on a postcard please.......... - Posted on 2005-01-14 11:54:29
Roeby 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Posts: 8884
Location:
Derbyshire
United Kingdom
fbb speak english pls lol.................. i thought i had a grip till i read that lol
Answers on a postcard please.......... - Posted on 2005-01-15 10:32:10
firebladebabe 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Thursday, November 04, 2004
Posts: 641
Location:
greenock
United Kingdom
pmsl @ roeby i tried hard honest i did but its hard when yer scotts lol lol lol lol
Answers on a postcard please.......... - Posted on 2005-01-13 11:54:44
Answers on a postcard please.......... - Posted on 2005-01-13 16:59:30
