Severian 1000cc Pro Racer
Joined:
Saturday, October 30, 2004
Posts: 227
Location:
Ewloe
United Kingdom
Dignified and proud I stand,
As you all jump at my command,
The slightest gesture, slightest sound,
Commands respect from all around!
No-one dare pinch my favorite chair,
No-one defy my baleful stare,
If slight discomfort i endure,
Then you'll regret it, be quite sure!
But when my servents all obey,
Then great rewards shall come thier way,
I'll let them touch my honoured head,
I'll even creep into thier bed!
I'll even sing them my own song,
(And keep them up the whole night long)
And give them presents, if i must,
(why do they view them with disgust?)
Yes, I'm the boss and I'm the king!
But oh, alas, thiers one small thing,
That i cant do - its such a sin!
Please - open me my cat food tin!!
Replies
Oscar the Boss!!! - Posted on 2004-12-22 07:29:11
bear 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Friday, October 29, 2004
Posts: 5790
Location:
cumbria
United Kingdom
cats and dogs only put up with peeps cos they cant use a tin opener, max my dog however can open every door in the house, knows where all the biscuits are kept and how to get them, he also knows when it is 4.30 pm(according to him thats dinner time) and never fails to remind me, he can also tell when its friday too (he gets a rawhide chew stick on fridays) and starts to remind everyone what day it is around 7 pm.
he is a fine judge of character (hates my next door neighbour and has since he was 12 weeks old)loves kids and will happily play with them for hours (when he gets tired or one of the kids gets too boisterous he sits on them and refuses to get off till he feels like it).
all in all the best pressie i ever got.
Oscar the Boss!!! - Posted on 2004-12-22 10:51:28
ton_up 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Monday, November 08, 2004
Posts: 527
Location:
Lincolnshire
United Kingdom
Last night, Mr Ton and I were snoozing (like old buggers) on the sofa, to be woken by sounds of pre-chunder from one of my cats, Fishcake.
He proceeded to projectile vomit all over the footstool (and all the stuff that was on it) and then went round the back of the armchair to do some more.
Remind me why I like cats............can't remember......................they're just chunder buckets with pointy claws. At least when my dog's about to puke you get more warning and he goes straight to the back door (tiles on floor!)
Oscar the Boss!!! - Posted on 2004-12-22 11:03:54
thumps 1000cc Pro Racer
Joined:
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
Posts: 281
Location:
the lovelier part of kent
United Kingdom
‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all round the pad,
there was nada happenin', and that's nowhere, Dad.
The stove was dressed out in that stocking routine,
In hopes that the Fat Boy would soon make the scene.
With our bellies all stuffed full of tacos and beer,
Me and the bride hit the couch for some cheer.
When out in the yard there arose such a racket,
I ran for the door pulling on my old jacket.
I saw this old geezer on a '57 Pan,
Wearin' boots and black leather, a real biker man.
His eyes how they twinkled under eyebrows so thick,
I knew right away that this dude was Saint Nick.
"'Scuse me, Brother," his voice how it rumbled down low,
"Have you got some spare wrenches? My scooter won't go."
"I was flyin' along when she started to get hot,
Then she sputtered and coughed, and died on the spot."
That bike was all covered with stuffed leather bags
holding brightly wrapped presents with ribbons and tags.
Saint Nick he was frantic, his face wore a frown.
"The children are waiting. I can't let them down."
I said, "Wheel it in, Man! We'll get that Pan tickin'
"We've got leftover tacos, if you don't mind chicken."
"If we can't get it running in an hour or so,
You can borrow MY bike -- just load it and go."
So we pushed it on in and unhitched the load,
I could fix what was busted and he'd be back on the road.
As I puzzled and muttered over that righteous ride,
He scuffed on the doormat and went on inside.
He was back in a flash, tacos piled on a plate
And a glass of skim milk that he sipped as he ate.
"It started to clatter," he said ‘round a bite,
"It started to miss, then just quit outright"
"It's just been rebuilt from the frame up this year,
But I guess it's a good thing that I broke down here.
From the looks of the sleds that're lined up out back,
You're a man with the skill to put me back on track."
"You're good to go now," I said, wiping my hands,
"It was a quick fix, you can get on with your plans.
"A plug wire got snagged and pulled off, don't you see,
So when you get on, be careful where you put your knee."
We put the bags on and he zipped up his jacket,
Then he kicked it to life with rumble - not racket.
He settled his cap and said, "Say, would you mind --
If I road-test this pig to make sure that she's fine?'
Flames shot from the pipes as he sped down the street,
Then back by he came and that bike sounded sweet.
He pulled up the bars on that Pan hung with sacks,
And that bike hit the roof like it was running on tracks.
I couldn't help staring as he shifted the tranny,
But I had to go in -- I was freezing my fanny.
When down through the chimney he fell with a crash,
And out of the woodstove he came dragging his stash.
With a twinkling eye, he passed out the loot,
A new jacket for her and some parts for my scoot.
He patted her cheek and then shook my hand,
Spun on his heel and up the stovepipe he ran.
From up on the roof came a great peal of thunder,
As that mighty V-twin tore the silence asunder.
As he roared into the night, he waved and he cried,
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good ride."
Oscar the Boss!!! - Posted on 2004-12-22 15:05:20
Severian 1000cc Pro Racer
Joined:
Saturday, October 30, 2004
Posts: 227
Location:
Ewloe
United Kingdom
Oscar the Boss!!! - Posted on 2004-12-21 19:56:46
Oscar the Boss!!! - Posted on 2004-12-22 07:29:11
Oscar the Boss!!! - Posted on 2004-12-22 10:51:28
Oscar the Boss!!! - Posted on 2004-12-22 11:03:54
