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little laughs - Posted on 2005-09-28 15:39:43

sassy3
250cc Rider

Joined:
Monday, November 01, 2004
Posts: 47
Location:
runcorn
United Kingdom

Problematic Dog A couple were going out for the evening. They'd gotten ready, all dolled up, dog put out, etc. The taxi arrives, and as the couple start out, the dog shoots back in the house. They don't want the dog shut in the house, so the wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes upstairs to chase the dog out. The wife, not wanting it known that the house will be empty explains to the taxi driver:"He's just going upstairs to say good-bye to my mother."A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab. "Sorry I took so long" he says. "Stupid bitch was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching and biting me as I hauled her ass downstairs and tossed her in the back yard! She better not shit in the vegetable garden again either!" Dinner with the Girlfriend's Parents A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time. Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the cash register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condom he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy decides on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all. That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!" The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down. 3 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 5 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious." The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."

Replies


	little laughs - Posted on 2005-09-28 16:40:56
Bobro 1300cc Superstar Joined: Thursday, February 17, 2005 Posts: 754 Location: Blackburn United Kingdom	i have heard that second one before, but still i had to hold my gob closed from an outburst of laughter in the office!! brilliant

	little laughs - Posted on 2005-09-28 22:07:00
Roeby 1300cc Superstar Joined: Posts: 8884 Location: Derbyshire United Kingdom	pmsl i like them

	little laughs - Posted on 2005-09-29 01:59:49
gixxer 1300cc Superstar Joined: Tuesday, May 31, 2005 Posts: 1563 Location: sheffield United Kingdom	kool pmsl!

	little laughs - Posted on 2005-09-29 10:44:37
concon 1300cc Superstar Joined: Sunday, January 02, 2005 Posts: 1193 Location: Mold United Kingdom	Very funny!

	little laughs - Posted on 2005-09-29 14:19:58
Speedofile 1300cc Superstar Joined: Friday, August 12, 2005 Posts: 2255 Location: Reading United Kingdom	Fantastic!!

	little laughs - Posted on 2005-09-30 01:24:03
purplerider05 600cc Boy Racer Joined: Thursday, September 08, 2005 Posts: 112 Location: perry United States	very cool jokes!

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