HOME|LOGIN| REGISTER|MEMBERS LIST|UPDATE PROFILE|FORUM|PICTURE GALLERY|CHATROOM|CONTACT US|TELL YOUR FRIENDS

  Welcome Visitor, Please Login, you have 0 new personal messages


    the bird feeder (not me i was sent it ) - Posted on 2009-05-18 10:40:46

ohsomadeddie
1300cc Superstar

Joined:
 Monday, June 27, 2005
Posts: 705
Location:
bottom of a newki broon bottle
United Kingdom

The Bird Feeder
I bought a bird feeder.. I hung it on my patio and filled it lovingly with seed... It was indeed a beautiful bird feeder.
Within a week we had hundreds of birds taking advantage of the Continuous flow of free and easily accessible food.
But then the birds started building nests in the boards of the patio, above the table, and next to the barbecue.. Then came the bird sh * t.
It was everywhere; on the patio tiles, the chairs, the table .. everywhere! Then some of the birds turned mean.
They would dive bomb me and try to peck me even though I had fed them out of my own pocket. And other birds were boisterous and loud.
They sat on the feeder and squawked and screamed at all hours of the day and night and demanded that I fill it when it got low on food.
After a while, I couldn't even sit on my own back porch anymore. So I took down the bird feeder and in three days the birds were gone. I cleaned up their mess and took down the many nests they had built all over the patio.
Soon, the back yard was like it used to be ... quiet, serene and no one demanding their rights to a free meal...
Now let's see ...... Brown & our government give out free food, subsidised housing, free medical care, and free education and allows anyone born here to be an automatic citizen.
Then the illegals came by the millions. Suddenly our taxes went up to pay for the free services; small flats are housing 5 or more families; you have to wait 6 hours to be seen by a doctor in an emergency surgery because it is filled with illegal non tax payers; your child's year 12 class is behind other schools because over half the class doesn't speak English.
Corn Flakes now come in a bilingual box; I have to 'press one' to hear my bank talk to me in English, and people waving flags other than 'The Union Jack' are squawking and screaming in the streets, demanding more rights and free liberties.
Its just my opinion but: maybe, just maybe, it's time for the government to take down the damn bird feeder.
If you agree, pass it on; if not, continue cleaning up the sh*t!

--

LAUGHING IN THE FACE OF DANGER

SINCE 1980

 

 

Replies
 
   the bird feeder (not me i was sent it ) - Posted on 2009-05-18 18:22:20

the_ox
1300cc Superstar 

Joined:
 Saturday, October 30, 2004
Posts: 8803
Location:
London
United Kingdom

A beautiful fairy appeared one day to a destitute refugee claimant outside the Heathrow immigration offices.

'My good man,' the fairy said, 'I've been told to grant you three wishes, since you just arrived in the UK with your wife and three children.'

The man told the fairy: 'Well, where I come from we don't have good teeth, so I want new teeth, maybe a lot of gold in them.'

The fairy looked at the man's almost toothless grin and --PING!!! He had a brand new shining set of gold teeth in his mouth!

'What else?' asked the fairy, 'two, more wishes, to go'.

The refugee claimant now got bolder.
'I need a big house with a three car garage in Oxford with eight bedrooms for my family and the rest of my refugee relatives who still live in my country. I want to bring them all over here.

PING! - In the distance there could be seen a beautiful mansion with a three car garage, a long driveway, a walkout patio with a BBQ, overlooking the river.

'One, more wish, left for you', said the fairy, waving her wand.

I want to be like the British with British clothes instead of manjams, and a baseball cap instead of this turban. And I want to have white skin like the British.'

PING! - The man was transformed, wearing worn out jeans, an Eagles T-shirt and a Billabong baseball cap. He had his bad teeth back and the mansion had disappeared from the horizon.

'What happened to my new teeth?' he wailed. 'Where is my new house?'

The fairy said 'Tough luck. Now that you are British, you're entitled to ***FILTERED WORD*** all!!!!' And she disappeared!

--

If you can keep your head while all about you are losing theirs, you probably haven't grasped the seriousness of the situation!

 

 



Copyright 2005 2wheeltalk.com
All rights reserved

Hosted by
Hosted by IDAQ