View forum thread

Welcome Visitor, Please Login, you have 0 new personal messages

STUNTING FOR BEGGINERS - Posted on 2008-01-23 13:38:04

TERRORTUBBY
400cc Rider

Joined:
Monday, January 24, 2005
Posts: 59
Location:
manchester
United Kingdom

Imagine my surprise at the sight of my right testicle dangling down below my scrotum.

Only seconds earlier I had been performing a stand up wheelie on my trusty Honda MB5 showing off to the local girlies in a vain attempt to get a bit. The Hondas seat was rubbish back then and the vinyl and foam had pulled away from the hard plastic seat base leaving a sharp edge riddled with staples at the front of the seat. My right foot had slipped off the peg and as I fell the seat base cut my jeans from knee to groin.

Not content with ruining the 501’s I’d just bought the seat also did it’s very best to emasculate me. The pain was something else I tell you, I have been hit with sticks, punched in the head, stabbed, shot, cut up and kicked in the balls a couple of times over the years but the pain on this occasion I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.

One of the staples had hooked my scrote as I fell and ripped an inch gash into the right side, As I landed my ball had literally popped out for an airing. I took another look to be sure I was seeing what I thought I was seeing and promptly threw up.

After throwing up I thought it would be a good idea to lie down and start screaming like a girl. After screaming for a bit I then changed pitch to that of a stuck pig for a bit and then drew a breath. There were several cycles of girl pig girl pig thing before I eventually passed out. Shock can be a wonderful thing sometimes.

Fortunately one of my brighter mates balled his T-shirt up and bit the bullet, he apparently gently wrapped my ball and scrotum up and applied pressure to the afflicted area. Now I’m not for anyone apart from the missus and the leech touching my tackle but on this occasion I was very grateful.

My brother had jumped on his bike and ridden like a boy possessed to our house to fetch my old man. He arrived and got me into the car and then drove me the 20 miles to the nearest hospital with my mate cradling my nuts. We lived on a small farm near Benoni, which is 20 or so miles from Johannesburg. I was in a sorry state when we got there, I had well and truly dropped a “b*ll*ck”

I woke up briefly in the operating theatre with my legs in stirrups, I roared my indignation at all present but mercifully the anaesthetist put me out of my current misery. Suffice to say the doctors skilfully popped it back with a stitch or two to hold the bugger in and sixteen little soluble jobbies to tidy the hole up.

It wasn’t all bad news though, my little Honda had landed on its wheels and wobbled off the road into a field of maize, mature maize at over 8 ft high and tightly spaced. The bike had gone in nose first and the thick maize stalks held it upright. The only damage done was to an indicator lens that had cracked. It did get covered in dust and pollen but at least that’d wash off.

I on the other hand was a complete mess; I walked like John Wayne and had balls the size of grapefruit. I got a bit of an infection in the wound and had to have the thing drained twice. I couldn’t sit down in any comfort or go to the khazie without being in agony. I managed to live though this traumatic event without any permanent scarring and was back on the bike as soon as the pain would let me.

The one thing I do remember is the anxiety I felt when one of the girls I had failed to impress, and failed miserably turned up to see if I was doing ok and actually participated in a practical test. I will forever be indebted to this angel of mercy. I remember her name and what she looks like but will not embarrass her by naming names.

I suppose the moral is this.

Stunt riding can get you hurt or killed, which is a bad thing. On the other hand it occasionally gets you laid which is a good thing.

You decide for yourself whether it’s worth the risk.

I was 17 when the abovementioned misfortune befell me and my eyes still water when I think of it

--

I ain't bitter just twisted

Replies


	STUNTING FOR BEGGINERS - Posted on 2008-01-23 18:32:40
ohsomadeddie 1300cc Superstar Joined: Monday, June 27, 2005 Posts: 705 Location: bottom of a newki broon bottle United Kingdom	ouch mate that is gonna sting -- I LOVE MY WIFE, BEER AND BIKES (BUT NOT IN THAT ORDER)

	STUNTING FOR BEGGINERS - Posted on 2008-01-23 19:44:11
stevefirth 600cc Boy Racer Joined: Monday, December 17, 2007 Posts: 122 Location: bradford United Kingdom	lets get this right! nice bike, bad accident. bad experience failing to impress, got laid anyway. let it be known that pleasure is followed by pain. i feel for ya tho mate hehehehehehe -- if i get taken out im going out in style on a bike

Hosted by