stevefirth 600cc Boy Racer
Joined:
Monday, December 17, 2007
Posts: 122
Location:
bradford
United Kingdom
7. THE WORLD'S BEST BAR
The first says: "Aye, this is a nice bar, but where I come from, there's a better one. At MacDougal's, you buy a drink, you buy another drink, and MacDougal himself will buy your third drink!"
The second then starts: "That sounds like a nice bar, but where I come from, there's a better one called Vinny's. At Vinny's, you buy a drink, Vinny buys you a drink. You buy another drink, Vinny buys you another drink."
Then the third pipes up. "You think that's good? Where I come from, there's this place called Murphy's. At Murphy's, they buy you your first drink, they buy you your second drink, they buy you your third drink, and then, they take you in the back and get you laid!"
"Wow!" say the other two. "That sounds fantastic! Did that actually happen to you?" "No," replies their friend, "but it happened to my sister!"
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if i get taken out im going out in style on a bike
Replies
have a go at this - Posted on 2008-01-12 12:30:10
stevefirth 600cc Boy Racer
Joined:
Monday, December 17, 2007
Posts: 122
Location:
bradford
United Kingdom
ROUND THE BEND
A man is speeding down a narrow mountain road, when a woman comes hurtling round the corner. He swerves to avoid her, but as she passes she leans out the window and screams 'PIG!'
Astonished, the man turns and yells back, 'BITCH!' as he reaches the bend and crashes into a pig.
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if i get taken out im going out in style on a bike
have a go at this - Posted on 2008-01-12 12:40:29
stevefirth 600cc Boy Racer
Joined:
Monday, December 17, 2007
Posts: 122
Location:
bradford
United Kingdom
A BLONDE'S BRAIN AT WORK
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early.
"Hey, girls," says the brunette one day, "let's go home early tomorrow. She'll never know."
So the next day, they all leave right after the boss does. The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home to find her husband having sex with the female boss.
She quietly sneaks out of the house and vows to return home at her normal time the next day.
In the morning, the brunette says: "That was fun, we should do it again sometime."
"No way," says the blonde. "I almost got caught."
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if i get taken out im going out in style on a bike
have a go at this - Posted on 2008-01-12 12:40:54
stevefirth 600cc Boy Racer
Joined:
Monday, December 17, 2007
Posts: 122
Location:
bradford
United Kingdom
THE BLIND MAN
While redecorating a church, three nuns become extremely hot and sweaty in their habits, so Mother Superior says, "Let's take our clothes off, and work naked."
The other two nuns disapprove, and ask, "What if someone sees us?"
But the Mother Superior says, "Don't worry, no one will see us, we'll just lock the door."
So the other nuns agree, strip down and return to work.
Suddenly, they hear a knock at the door, and grab their clothes in a panic.
Mother Superior runs to the door and calls through, "Who is it?"
"Blind man," a man's voice comes back.
So she opens the door, and lets in the blind man, who turns to the nuns and says, "Great tits, ladies, now where do you want these blinds?"
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if i get taken out im going out in style on a bike
have a go at this - Posted on 2008-01-12 12:43:31
stevefirth 600cc Boy Racer
Joined:
Monday, December 17, 2007
Posts: 122
Location:
bradford
United Kingdom
CAR-CROSSED LOVERS
A woman and a man driver are involved in a horrific collision, but amazingly both escape completely unhurt - though their cars are written off.
As they crawl out of the wreckage, the man sees the woman is blonde and strikingly beautiful. Then the woman turns to the man and gushes breathily: 'That's incredible - both our cars are demolished but we're fine. It must be a sign from God that we are meant to be together!'
Sensing a promise, the man stammers back, 'Oh yes, I agree with you completely!'
The woman goes on, 'And look, though my car was destroyed, this bottle of wine survived intact, too! It must be another sign. Let's drink to our love!'
'Well, OK!' says the man, going with the moment. She offers him the bottle, so he downs half of it and hands it back.
'Your turn,' says the man.
'No, thanks,' says the woman, 'I think I'll just wait for the police.'
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if i get taken out im going out in style on a bike
have a go at this - Posted on 2008-01-12 12:26:12
