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Harley Jokes - Posted on 2007-12-20 11:51:09

Stile
400cc Rider

Joined:
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Posts: 58
Location:
Pershore
United Kingdom

In the Computer Science Dept. at King’s College, University of London they built this super computer with artificial intelligence that could carry on a conversation with anyone at their relative intelligence level.

All one had to do was type in their IQ and the computer, through its' voice activated-sound generating processor, would begin the conversation.

So they thought they would test it out on several of the King’s faculty.

The first faculty member typed in his IQ at 187 and a bunch of lights on the computer began flashing, then it began a conversation with the scientist on the origins of the universe, mathematical proof of the existence of black holes, and existential philosophy.

The second faculty member then typed in an IQ of 179 and again lights lit up on the computer (not quite as many as the first faculty member, but...) and it began a conversation with the scientist about molecular biology, brain surgery and international monetary policy.

When they tested it on the third faculty member, his finger slipped at the keyboard and typed in 73 instead of 173. Not much happened -- just one little light, it the upper right hand of the computer display, slowly dimmed then grew stronger, then dimmed... Finally the computer said....

"So, how's the Harley running'?"

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Harley-Davidson Owner's Group (HOG) Qualification Test

1. The primary purpose of HOG is to promote: A) Fellowship among Harley-Davidson owners B) Chrome-plating C) Motorcycle Gangs D) Inbreeding

2. You see another HOG member riding the opposite direction on the highway you are on. You either: A). Hold your arm off to the left and gesture with a proud salute B). act too cool to notice and keep going C). Turn around, chase him down and beat him up for his chrome accessories D). Run after him frantically waving for help, since you've been stranded on the hard shoulder for over 5 hours

3. When performing your pre-ride check, you notice a few drops of engine oil on the floor underneath your motorcycle. You should: A). Immediately clean it up with a towel or other B). Breath a sigh of relief that the engine still contains oil and optimistically press the starter switch C). Dab your fingers on the stain and then on your face, achieving that cool "greasy mechanic" look D). Pull the Harley forward so the rear tyre sits on the oil stain and attempt a burnout

4. The most important piece of gear to a Harley rider is: A). Half-helmet B). Goggles C). Leather Pants D). Wallet Chain E) Break-Down Kit

5. You see a row of Harley-Davidsons lined up at a roadside drinking establishment. You choose to: A). Stop and make some new friends B). Park for a moment, hammer down some shots of whiskey, and wobble home C). Attempt a wheelie D) Beat the crap out of some sucker for insulting HOG

6. A valve stem has broken off and effectively seized up the engine. After removing the head and thoroughly inspecting the situation, you: A). Head to an authorized H-D dealer and order genuine Harley replacement parts B). Decide to chrome plate the valve stems and springs C). Conclude that more end play in the cams could have prevented this tragedy D). Try starting the motor so that the neighbours know you're working on your bike

7. A Japanese-made sport-bike pulls up in the lane next to you at a stoplight. You: A). Nod diplomatically at your fellow motorcyclist, in spite of his patriotic failure in his duty to buy American. B). Grab a handful of throttle and race the engine, hoping to engage him in an exhaust volume contest C). Curse the ***FILTERED WORD*** ing rice burner and throw your cigar at him. D. Keep pushing when the lights change colour

8. The guy down the block has a Sportster 1100 that is faster at the strip than your souped-up Fat Boy. You feel a need to level the playing field where the power to weight ratio is concerned. You decide to: A). Install NOS B). Remove the exhaust pipes and run straight headers, since more decibels equals more power C). Go on a diet D). Inform your 270 pound passenger she is no longer allowed to accompany you on the bike during runs at the drag-strip

9. Cruising along at full throttle, you are casually overtaken and passed by a Scooterist. You: A). Stop at a payphone and dial 999 to notify the authorities of a reckless driver B). Attempt to pass the scooter by imitating his hunched over riding style, reducing aerodynamic drag and gaining another 5 mph top end speed C). Curse the little ***FILTERED WORD*** e and choke on your cigar in the process D. Shoot him

10. The preferred method of cleaning a Harley-Davidson is: A). S-100 motorcycle wash or equivalent B). Simonize C). Gunk engine degreaser D). Mother nature

***BONUS QUESTION*** 11. You need new tyres for your Harley. You decide to go with: A). Dunlop Qualifiers B). Mickey Thompson Super Off-Roaders C). Cheng Shins D). anything chrome-plated

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Replies


	Harley Jokes - Posted on 2008-01-07 23:19:00
Rawhide 50cc Newbie Joined: Monday, January 07, 2008 Posts: 2 Location: Lebanon United States	The under side of interstate bridges are made for two things: (1) Pigeons to roost. (2) Harley owners to work on their bikes out of the rain. --

	Harley Jokes - Posted on 2008-01-08 21:49:32
gixxer 1300cc Superstar Joined: Tuesday, May 31, 2005 Posts: 1563 Location: sheffield United Kingdom	har har! -- 'it wasnt me! i only just got here!'

	Harley Jokes - Posted on 2008-01-13 09:46:51
sprag 750cc Boy Racer Joined: Saturday, March 24, 2007 Posts: 183 Location: leicester United Kingdom	...............har. --

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