Martin 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Saturday, November 27, 2004
Posts: 3628
Location:
Kent
United Kingdom
A woman went into a store to buy her husband a pet for his birthday.
After looking around, she found that all the pets were very expensive.
She told the clerk she wanted to buy a pet, but she didn't want to spend a fortune.
"Well," said the clerk,
"I have a very large bullfrog. They say it's been trained to give blowjobs!"
"Blowjobs!" the woman replied.
"It hasn't been proven and we've sold 30 of them this month," he said..
The woman thought it would be a great gag gift,
and what if it's true ... no more blowjobs for her!
She bought the frog.
When she explained froggy's ability to her husband, he was extremely
skeptical and laughed it off. The woman went to bed happy, thinking she
may never need to perform this less than riveting act again.
In the middle of the night, she was awakened by the noise of pots and
pans flying everywhere, making hellacious banging and crashing sounds.
She ran downstairs to the kitchen, only to find her husband and the frog
reading cookbooks.
"What are you two doing at this hour?" she asked.
The husband replied,
"If I can teach this frog to cook, your ass is gone!"
--
Martin :o)
Replies
BJBF ... - Posted on 2007-12-04 18:57:36
Speedofile 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Friday, August 12, 2005
Posts: 2255
Location:
Reading
United Kingdom
pmsl...great!!
--
If you have an itch...Scratch it!!
BJBF ... - Posted on 2007-12-04 21:42:25
the_ox 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Saturday, October 30, 2004
Posts: 8803
Location:
London
United Kingdom
Then there was this chap who walked into a bar, took a frog out of his pocket, placed it on the bar counter and he sat down next to a woman and ordered a drink. The woman was horrified on seeing the frog and screamed: "Kill it! Get rid of it!"
The man replied: "Lady, I'm tired after a long day's work and all I want to do is sit down and relax. My frog is totally harmless, but I'll let you into a little secret - he makes excellent love to a woman..."
"Really?"
"Yes, lady, really."
"All right! I'll take you up on that! Let's go to my place..."
So they arrive there, she undresses, he places the frog on her stomach and says: "Frog! Perform!"
The frog just sits there, doing nothing. Once again he tells the frog to perform. Still no action.
The man picks the frog up, throws it on the floor and says: "Dammit! How many more times must I show you how it's done???"
:P
--
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, beer in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming
BJBF ... - Posted on 2007-12-04 22:07:04
Speedofile 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Friday, August 12, 2005
Posts: 2255
Location:
Reading
United Kingdom
lmao...very good...will have to try that
--
If you have an itch...Scratch it!!
BJBF ... - Posted on 2007-12-05 17:13:28
Martin 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Saturday, November 27, 2004
Posts: 3628
Location:
Kent
United Kingdom
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello. He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says, "Do you know me?" To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids." Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "Good Grief, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery? She looks into his eyes and says calmly "No, I'm your son's teacher."
--
Martin :o)
BJBF ... - Posted on 2007-12-05 17:14:43
Martin 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Saturday, November 27, 2004
Posts: 3628
Location:
Kent
United Kingdom
Anna had lost her husband almost four years ago. Her daughter was constantly calling her and urging her to get back into the world.
Finally, Anna said she'd go out, but didn't know anyone.
Her daughter immediately replied, "Mum! I have someone for you to meet."
Well, it was an immediate hit. They took to one another and after dating for six weeks, he asked her to join him for a weekend in Vermont.
Their first night there, she undressed as he did. There she stood nude, except for a pair of black lacy panties; he was in his birthday suit.
Looking her over, he asked, "Why the black panties?"
She replied: "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but down there I am still in mourning."
He knew he was not getting lucky that night. The following night was the same she stood there wearing the black panties,
And he was in his birthday suit--but now he was wearing a black condom.
She looked at him and asked: "What's with the black condom?"
He replied, "I want to offer my deepest condolences."
--
Martin :o)
BJBF ... - Posted on 2007-12-06 00:33:13
KaptainKwak 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Monday, August 15, 2005
Posts: 4981
Location:
bolton
United Kingdom
A Pakistani went to the Doctors with a frog on his head.
BJBF ... - Posted on 2007-12-01 21:35:37
BJBF ... - Posted on 2007-12-04 18:57:36
