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Things to do before you die - Posted on 2007-11-24 18:56:48

the_ox
1300cc Superstar

Joined:
Saturday, October 30, 2004
Posts: 8803
Location:
London
United Kingdom

Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die. This is so priceless,
and so easy to see happening, customer service being what it is today.

A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and
March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and then added
late fee and interest on the monthly charge.

The balance had been $0.00, now is somewhere around $60.00.

A family member placed a call to Citibank:

Family Member: "I am calling to tell you that she died in January."

Citibank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still
apply."

Family Member: "Maybe, you should turn it over to collections."

Citibank: "Since it is two months past due, it already has been."

Family Member: So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?"

Citibank: "Either report her account to the frauds division or report her
to the credit bureau, maybe both!"

Family Member: "Do you think God will be mad at her?"

Citibank: "Excuse me?"

Family Member: "Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about
her being dead?"

Citibank: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor."
Supervisor gets on the phone:

Family Member: "I'm calling to tell you, she died in January."

Citibank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still
apply."

Family Member: "You mean you want to collect from her estate?"

Citibank: (Stammer) "Are you her lawyer?"

Family Member: "No, I'm her great nephew." (Lawyer info given)

Citibank: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"

Family Member: "Sure." (fax number is given)

After they get the fax:

Citibank: "Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what more I
can do to help."

Family Member: "Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just
keep billing her. I don't think she will care."

Citibank: "Well, the late fees and charges do still apply."

Family Member: "Would you like her new billing address?"

Citibank: "That might help."

Family Member: "Odessa Memorial Cemetery, Highway 129, Plot Number 69."

Citibank: "Sir, that's a cemetery!"

Family Member: "What do you do with dead people on your planet?"

--

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, beer in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming

Replies


	Things to do before you die - Posted on 2007-11-25 00:05:18
gixxer 1300cc Superstar Joined: Tuesday, May 31, 2005 Posts: 1563 Location: sheffield United Kingdom	surely the late fees and charges should be passed on to the next of kin? -- 'it wasnt me! i only just got here!'

	Things to do before you die - Posted on 2007-11-25 10:16:01
sprag 750cc Boy Racer Joined: Saturday, March 24, 2007 Posts: 183 Location: leicester United Kingdom	if I get some idea of when I'm gonna die I'll make darn sure I run up a huge bill on both my credit cards. See what they do about that. [oh and I dont have any next of kin they can pass the debt onto so they can go piss up a rope] --

	Things to do before you die - Posted on 2007-11-25 14:44:30
gixxer 1300cc Superstar Joined: Tuesday, May 31, 2005 Posts: 1563 Location: sheffield United Kingdom	apparently they bill you by medium now, AND theyre starting to tax harps and halos! (the cloud tax is shocking they reckon) -- 'it wasnt me! i only just got here!'

	Things to do before you die - Posted on 2007-11-25 17:57:32
fredcbr6uk 1300cc Superstar Joined: Saturday, July 08, 2006 Posts: 513 Location: beccles United Kingdom	what a stupid world we live in. the computer says we cant do that so there is nothing we can do about it. getting way beyond a joke. pehaps the family of this lady could dig her up and take her down to head office so she could sort out the problem in person. bloody rediculous -- if you gonna go, go with a smile

	Things to do before you die - Posted on 2007-11-26 00:01:29
Loadsbob 400cc Rider Joined: Saturday, November 18, 2006 Posts: 94 Location: Harwich United Kingdom	Ox that was most amusing, typical of bank staff, --

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