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Bravest Men in The world ? - Posted on 2007-10-04 08:28:46

kenp1947
1300cc Superstar

Joined:
Sunday, July 31, 2005
Posts: 771
Location:
Cheltenham
United Kingdom

What's the definition of the bravest man in the world??
The man who comes home drunk, covered in lipstick and smelling of perfume,
then slaps his wife on the backside and says: "You're next, fatty."

Man walks into the bedroom with a sheep under his arm while his wife is
lying in bed reading.Man says: "This is the pig I have sex with when you've got a headache." Wife replies: "I think you'll find that is a sheep." Man replies: "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep"

A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase. He asks, "What are you doing?" She answers, "I'm moving to London. I heard prostitutes there get paid Ł400 for doing what I do for you for free." Later that night, on her way out, the wife walks into the bedroom and sees her husband packing his suitcase. When she asks him where he's going, he replies, "I'm coming too I want to see how you live on Ł800 a year".

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: 2 litres of low fat milk, a carton of eggs, 2 litres of orange juice, a head of lettuce, half a dozen tomatoes, a 500g jar of coffee, a 250g pack of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated,"You must be single."
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the drunks's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the Drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said, "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?" The drunk replied, "Cos you're ugly."

Ed was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really upset.
She told him "Tomorrow morning I expect to find a gift in the driveway that
goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT HAD BETTER BE THERE." The next morning Ed got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up she looked out of the window and sure enough there was a small box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, she put on her robe, ran out on to the driveway and picked up the box. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Funeral services for Ed have been scheduled for Friday

--

Live for Today as yesterday has gone and tomorow might never arrive

Replies


	Bravest Men in The world ? - Posted on 2007-10-04 08:56:19
Roeby 1300cc Superstar Joined: Posts: 8884 Location: Derbyshire United Kingdom	seen them b4 but they r very funny lol -- Never Ride Faster Than Your Guardian Angel Can Fly

	Bravest Men in The world ? - Posted on 2007-10-04 19:55:33
fredcbr6uk 1300cc Superstar Joined: Saturday, July 08, 2006 Posts: 513 Location: beccles United Kingdom	some really good ones there. cheers -- if you gonna go, go with a smile

	Bravest Men in The world ? - Posted on 2007-10-05 09:41:25
adz 1300cc Superstar Joined: Saturday, September 03, 2005 Posts: 842 Location: Glasgow United Kingdom	lol !! -- _________________ Adz. Check out my band www.myspace.com/silvssilva

	Bravest Men in The world ? - Posted on 2007-10-05 09:47:54
kuchenhilfen 1000cc Pro Racer Joined: Thursday, July 12, 2007 Posts: 215 Location: In a bucket under the sink United Kingdom	Hehehe! -- Before you criticise someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do have a go at them, you're a mile away and you've got their f*cking shoes.

	Bravest Men in The world ? - Posted on 2007-10-05 10:13:21
gfisher 1300cc Superstar Joined: Tuesday, November 02, 2004 Posts: 2725 Location: Glasgow United Kingdom	lol but true. -- and your point is................?

	Bravest Men in The world ? - Posted on 2007-10-05 16:27:54
rsvar7 1300cc Superstar Joined: Saturday, June 11, 2005 Posts: 862 Location: derbyshire United Kingdom	bravest men in the world ......that will be the ones who cut the mrs credit card up in front of em and say .......its for your own good pmsl ducks and runs for cover -- grab em by the danglies..and lets go for it...ding dong

	Bravest Men in The world ? - Posted on 2007-10-05 20:00:35
hastie 750cc Boy Racer Joined: Monday, April 24, 2006 Posts: 195 Location: catterick United Kingdom	Funny as feck,aint heard em before --

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