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HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION - Posted on 2007-07-29 19:11:54

kenp1947
1300cc Superstar

Joined:
Sunday, July 31, 2005
Posts: 771
Location:
Cheltenham
United Kingdom

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... Don't waste them on exercise . Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables . So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q:What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: You're not listening....Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable. It's the best feel-good food around!!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape! !

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming, "WOO HOO, What a Ride!"

--

Live for Today as yesterday has gone and tomorow might never arrive

Replies


	HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION - Posted on 2007-07-29 19:45:16
Martin 1300cc Superstar Joined: Saturday, November 27, 2004 Posts: 3628 Location: Kent United Kingdom	pmsl -- Martin :o)

	HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION - Posted on 2007-07-29 21:39:09
The_Reverend 1300cc Superstar Joined: Wednesday, February 16, 2005 Posts: 1078 Location: Coventry: Why? United Kingdom	Heyyyyyyyyyyyy! Marijuana..................plant...................vitamins...................and it makes you crave FOOD! -- Semper in excreta somus solus profundum variat

	HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION - Posted on 2007-07-29 22:08:16
the_ox 1300cc Superstar Joined: Saturday, October 30, 2004 Posts: 8803 Location: London United Kingdom	Bang goes the serious note to this forum then!!! -- Try being truthful, its the thing to do

	HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION - Posted on 2007-07-29 22:49:19
sleddriver 250cc Rider Joined: Thursday, February 08, 2007 Posts: 31 Location: third rock from the sun Western Sahara	there was a serious note !!!!!!???? -- It`s only gay if you take it....apparently.

	HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION - Posted on 2007-07-29 22:50:41
rsvar7 1300cc Superstar Joined: Saturday, June 11, 2005 Posts: 862 Location: derbyshire United Kingdom	ill take the ....complete go fer it my son chardonay choccy bit ,coz stuff the boring bit you could get knocked down by a taliban bus driver tomorrow....then u would b lookin down off yer cloud thinkin all that time at the gym fer bxxxxxr all ...bummer -- grab em by the danglies..and lets go for it...ding dong

	HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION - Posted on 2007-07-30 04:11:13
bear 1300cc Superstar Joined: Friday, October 29, 2004 Posts: 5790 Location: cumbria United Kingdom	been following that advice for years! health food nuts dont live longer it only seems so. hedonism is the way to go your only here once! -- revenge is a dish best served...............with croutons

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