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    pugs is back in town- for now.... - Posted on 2007-07-28 22:22:14

pugs
250cc Rider

Joined:
 Friday, July 06, 2007
Posts: 47
Location:
Marseille
France

Hi guys. Just got back from la belle France. J-P was really romantic- looks like he's sorted it all out. He has/had a really high pressure job in Paris- something to do with security, but he couldn't say too much. He's decided to quit, and over a glass or three of wine, we decided to get together and try to open a biker B & B place in the south- he says Carcasson is nice. His ma says she'll help out cash wise to start us up once we get hitched. She's loaded. That's the only prob though- she's a real Parisian lady, really refined, and she doesn't like my ma- she's a bit too Brummie it seems. So she doesn't want ma to move across and help. Ma would like to. But then if we go along with J-P's ma, I can get it together with him and the kids. Help?

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   pugs is back in town- for now.... - Posted on 2007-07-29 05:46:25

hungry_hippo
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Joined:
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Posts: 840
Location:
warrington
United Kingdom

bloods thicker than water,remember that

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some people you should trust some people you should not.....you decide

 

   pugs is back in town- for now.... - Posted on 2007-07-29 12:35:49

the_ox
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Joined:
 Saturday, October 30, 2004
Posts: 8803
Location:
London
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Get the out laws backing then a bank loan pay her off and move your mum in.

Personally the more out-laws get involved the worse the ending.



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Try being truthful, its the thing to do

 

   pugs is back in town- for now.... - Posted on 2007-07-29 18:23:36

pugs
250cc Rider 

Joined:
 Friday, July 06, 2007
Posts: 47
Location:
Marseille
France

It's difficult. J-P and his ma are very close. Do I put me and the kids before my ma? I really want to go and give it a real chance at working, but ma would be on her own if I did. J-P wants us to move across asap and start looking for somewhere.

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   pugs is back in town- for now.... - Posted on 2007-07-29 18:56:32

bear
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Joined:
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Posts: 5790
Location:
cumbria
United Kingdom

you only have the ONE mum!.... inlaws are nightmares by all accounts. when all is said and done he did a bunk once before get a grip and move on with yer own life dump the mummies boy and find a MAN!

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revenge is a dish best served...............with croutons

 

   pugs is back in town- for now.... - Posted on 2007-07-29 21:36:10

The_Reverend
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Joined:
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Posts: 1078
Location:
Coventry: Why?
United Kingdom

Inclined to go with Ox and Bear on this one........

Sorry.

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Semper in excreta somus solus profundum variat

 

   pugs is back in town- for now.... - Posted on 2007-07-29 23:16:28

pugs
250cc Rider 

Joined:
 Friday, July 06, 2007
Posts: 47
Location:
Marseille
France

Don't I have a right to think about myself though? And don't my kids have a right to get to know their dad? Like I said, he has/had a job in security of sorts. I don't know what it was, but it put an awful lot of pressure on him. Doesn't he deserve a chance too? I know what I feel, but I also know what I should think, and it's just so difficult to see which way to go.

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   pugs is back in town- for now.... - Posted on 2007-07-30 04:02:32

bear
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Joined:
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Posts: 5790
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If he was a father worth knowing he wouldnt have done a bunk in the first place! as for his job causing him stress get real! everyone gets stressed out by their job. you say he is/was in security but are a bit vauge (almost like you dont know, and if thats the case he is telling porkies).

if you want to live in france go for it, but to have to ignore your own mother cos his mum is loaded and posh i reckon the price is too high. get your self a real bloke. one who will stand by you and his children and one that dosnt need his mummy or her money.







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revenge is a dish best served...............with croutons

 

   pugs is back in town- for now.... - Posted on 2007-07-30 09:27:12

pugs
250cc Rider 

Joined:
 Friday, July 06, 2007
Posts: 47
Location:
Marseille
France

Thanks for your advice Bear, but the kids need their dad too. His ma says she can get them sorted with a school for the new term this September, and she's helping find us a place. That makes it sort of urgent to make a decision. Not got anything against you guys, but I wonder if any female members would give me their thoughts? I know blokes have this honour thing about loyalty and so on. We girls tend to see things a bit differently.

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   pugs is back in town- for now.... - Posted on 2007-07-30 10:12:13

hungry_hippo
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Joined:
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the kids needed there dad when he ran out on them pugs,you will probably find that most women wont bother with this as they will think its a joke.you cant really expect someone you don't know you to say yeah go on ditch your own mum for the sake of a guy that does not deserve to have kids.what sort of man runs out on his family because he is stressed????.and whats the rush eh why cant you go next year when you have had more time to plan it and think it over?it does not sound like and urgent decision to me it sound more like being pressured into to doing something you know is not right,for you, the kids or your family.....sorry rant over

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some people you should trust some people you should not.....you decide

 

   pugs is back in town- for now.... - Posted on 2007-07-30 12:13:35

sprag
750cc Boy Racer 

Joined:
 Saturday, March 24, 2007
Posts: 183
Location:
leicester
United Kingdom

Sounds to me like your onto a winner here kiddo...... butter his mother up and let her do all the setting up and paying for your move to France and this B&B your on about, old bats like her just love to do things for their kids, let her think she is in control [inlaws love that] keep in touch with your own ma but do it on the quiet, dont let 'him' or his mother know and for Gods sake dont let your kids know your doing it because they have big gobs.
Some say kids have a right to know their dad...... I couldn't agree more [wish my ***FILTERED WORD*** had stuck around] but at the end of the day kids will grow up and and go their own way and you will get old [fact] and will it really matter if he's still around? [asuming he does a runner AGAIN] do you want to spend the next 10-15 years living with some guy who if your really honest with yourself you cant really trust [any woman trusts a man needs her head looked at]
Milk the situation for all its worth, let his mother spend her dosh to get you and your kids set up then see how it goes. I'm sure your ma will understand and who knows? the old bag could drop dead and leave all her cash to her beloved son. hehehehe evil cow aint I? lol

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   pugs is back in town- for now.... - Posted on 2007-07-30 13:41:09

pugs
250cc Rider 

Joined:
 Friday, July 06, 2007
Posts: 47
Location:
Marseille
France

Sprag- you make me feel really naive. Am I wrong to trust him? Everyone seems to think I'm being an idiot, but they're just too nice to come out and say it. I really don't know what to do. I really want to make a go of it, and I want to live as a family over there, but the idea of keeping in touch with ma behind everyones' backs.... Anyway, in a foreign country, how would you go about organising that? I don't know. Guess I'm just too innocent in the ways of the world.

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   pugs is back in town- for now.... - Posted on 2007-07-30 16:44:27

ana
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Joined:
 Monday, February 20, 2006
Posts: 1299
Location:
colchester
United Kingdom

sorry pugs ,, been there to a degree and agree with bear ,, people dont become responsible overnight ,, not all man are to be distrusted , once distrust is there its there it wont go away overnight, it takes a lot of work ,, and in a strange country your putting yourself in a very vunrable position,, sorry but not one id be prepared to take with childrens emotional well being ,

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   pugs is back in town- for now.... - Posted on 2007-07-31 11:33:49

sprag
750cc Boy Racer 

Joined:
 Saturday, March 24, 2007
Posts: 183
Location:
leicester
United Kingdom

Pugs, dear child...... mobile phone, letter, email????
Enough with the innocent already..... get a backbone and learn to be devious.

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   pugs is back in town- for now.... - Posted on 2007-07-31 15:53:17

darcey
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Joined:
 Friday, October 29, 2004
Posts: 3114
Location:
Lincolnshire
United Kingdom

I know I would be absolutely heartbroken if Bertie decided not to have anything to do with me.. You also have rights to stand up for your own desires and wants. This woman has absolutely no right to put you in this sort of position. I dont understand why it cant be both ways and I would be so ***FILTERED WORD*** ing annoyed if anyone told me to do that! -Go to France And stay in touch with your mother. it snot fair of them to put you in this position. This attitude is totally disgraceful on behalf of your mother in law......And what type of a guy is he to allow this to happen to you? (Disgusted: Tunbridge Wells)

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I am not retreating..I am advancing in another direction

 

   pugs is back in town- for now.... - Posted on 2007-07-31 17:32:46

pugs
250cc Rider 

Joined:
 Friday, July 06, 2007
Posts: 47
Location:
Marseille
France

The decision might have been made for me..... Ma came round today, and while I went down to the shop to get some stuff in for tea, she saw a letter from J-P I'd left out. More fool me! Anyway the result was a blazing big row, and she stomped off saying I might as well sod off to France if that was the way things were shaping. I tried to ring her later to put things right but she just wouldn't pick up the phone. At least the place I'm in now is rented, so there's not much to tie me down. Think I'll probably go sooner rather than later.....

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