Martin 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Saturday, November 27, 2004
Posts: 3628
Location:
Kent
United Kingdom
Two guys are walking through the woods and come across this big deep hole.
"Wow...that looks deep."
"Sure does... toss a few pebbles in there and see how deep it is."
They pick up a few pebbles and throw them in and wait... no noise.
"Jeeez. That is REALLY deep... here.. throw one of these great big rocks down there. Those should make a noise."
They pick up a couple football-sized rocks and toss them into the hole and wait... and wait. Nothing.
They look at each other in amazement. One gets a determined look on his face and says, "Hey...over here in the weeds, there's a railroad tie. Help me carry it over here. When we toss THAT sucker in,
it's GOTTA make some noise."
The two men drag the heavy tie over to the hole and heave it in. Not a sound comes from the hole.
Suddenly, out of the nearby woods, a sheep appears, running like the wind. It rushes toward the two men, then right past them, running as fast as it's legs will carry it. Suddenly it leaps in the air
and into the hole.
The two men are astonished with what they've just seen...
Then, out of the woods comes a farmer who spots the men and ambles over.
Hey... you two guys seen my sheep out here?
You bet we did! Craziest thing I ever seen! It came running like crazy and just jumped into this hole!
Nah, says the farmer, That couldn't have been MY sheep. My sheep was chained to a railroad tie.
--
Martin :o)
Replies
Jokes ... - Posted on 2007-07-10 17:28:37
Martin 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Saturday, November 27, 2004
Posts: 3628
Location:
Kent
United Kingdom
Two men, one age 80 and one age 87, were sitting on a park bench.
The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath.
The 80 year old asked him what he did to have so much energy.
The 87 year old said, "Well, I eat Italian bread every day. It keeps your energy level high
and you'll have great stamina with the ladies."
Soooo, on the way home, the 80 year old stopped at the bakery.
As he was looking around, the saleslady asked if he needed any help.
He said, "Do you have any Italian bread?"
"Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?", she replied.
He told her, "I want five loaves."
She said, "My goodness! Five loaves? Don't you think by the time you get to
the 5th loaf, it'll be hard?"
He replied, "I can't believe it, everybody in the world knows about this
Italian bread thing but me".
--
Martin :o)
Jokes ... - Posted on 2007-07-10 17:29:25
Martin 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Saturday, November 27, 2004
Posts: 3628
Location:
Kent
United Kingdom
Once upon a time, and far, far away lived a beautiful queen with voluptuous breasts. Nick the Dragon slayer knew that the penalty for his desire would be death should he try to touch them. The king was a very jealous man.
One day Nick revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the Physician, who was the king's chief doctor. Horatio the Physician exclaimed that he could arrange for Nick the Dragon Slayer to satisfy his
desire, but it would cost him 1,000 gold coins to arrange it. Without pause, Nick the Dragon Slayer readily agreed to the scheme.
The next day, Horatio the Physician made a batch of itching powder and poured a litt le bit into the queen's brassiere while she bathed. Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense. Upon being summoned to the royal chambers to address this incident, Horatio the Physician informed the king and queen that only special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown that only the saliva of Nick the Dragon Slayer would work as the cure for the itch.
The king quickly summoned Nick the Dragon Slayer. Horatio the Physician then slipped Nick the Dragon Slayer the antidote for the itching powder, which he quickly put into his mouth, and for the next four hours, Nick worked passionately on the queen's voluptuous and magnificent breasts.
The queen's itching was eventually relieved, and Nick the Dragon Slayer left satisfied and touted as a hero.
Upon returning to his chamber, Nick the Dragon Slayer found Horatio the Physician demanding his payment of 1, 000 gold coins. With his obsession now satisfied, Nick the Dragon Slayer couldn't have cared less and, knowing that Horatio the Physician could never report this matter to the king, with a laugh just told him to get lost.
The next day, Horatio the Physician slipped a massive dose of the same itching powder into the king's underwear . The king immediately summoned Nick the Dragon Slayer...
Moral of the story: Pay your bills!
--
Martin :o)
Jokes ... - Posted on 2007-07-10 17:29:19
hungry_hippo 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Monday, November 07, 2005
Posts: 840
Location:
warrington
United Kingdom
lmfao i like that one
--
some people you should trust some people you should not.....you decide
Jokes ... - Posted on 2007-07-10 17:29:43
Martin 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Saturday, November 27, 2004
Posts: 3628
Location:
Kent
United Kingdom
Question: 'Why is a waist called a waist?'
Answer: 'because anything above the pussy and below the tits is a waste'
--
Martin :o)
Jokes ... - Posted on 2007-07-10 17:31:38
hungry_hippo 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Monday, November 07, 2005
Posts: 840
Location:
warrington
United Kingdom
the first one lol
--
some people you should trust some people you should not.....you decide
Jokes ... - Posted on 2007-07-10 20:27:11
fredcbr6uk 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Saturday, July 08, 2006
Posts: 513
Location:
beccles
United Kingdom
superb martin, as usual
--
if you gonna go, go with a smile
Jokes ... - Posted on 2007-07-10 20:49:16
Martin 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Saturday, November 27, 2004
Posts: 3628
Location:
Kent
United Kingdom
Jokes ... - Posted on 2007-07-10 17:26:44
Jokes ... - Posted on 2007-07-10 17:29:19
