Rodney Dangerfield Quotes - Posted on 2007-07-02 10:58:48
Motorhead 1300cc Superstar
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Posts: 581
Location:
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United Kingdom
Some of the best quotes from a comic genius!
A girl phoned me the other day and said... Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home.
I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.
I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.
I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.
My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.
When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
Lmao!
--
Why isnt my overwhelming kindness an excuse for girls to think, 'Hey, lemme rub my chest in his face!'
Replies
Rodney Dangerfield Quotes - Posted on 2007-07-02 16:59:36
Martin 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Saturday, November 27, 2004
Posts: 3628
Location:
Kent
United Kingdom
got a feeling i may have posted these at some point ...
roflmfao
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Martin :o)
Rodney Dangerfield Quotes - Posted on 2007-07-02 21:27:07
franonacbr 1100cc Pro Racer
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Sunday, July 09, 2006
Posts: 399
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beccles
United Kingdom
not sure i know who he is but i like the quotes, very funny
Rodney Dangerfield Quotes - Posted on 2007-07-02 10:58:48
Rodney Dangerfield Quotes - Posted on 2007-07-02 16:59:36
