Hmmmmmm Tesco....... - Posted on 2007-06-20 22:17:53
Ducatibird 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
Posts: 999
Location:
Nottingham
United Kingdom
The Tesco Doctor.
One day, in line at the works cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him.
"My elbow hurts like hell. I suppose I'd better see a doctor!"
Listen; don't waste your time down at the surgery, Mike replies.
There's a diagnostic computer at Tesco. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong, and what to do about it
It takes ten seconds and only costs five quid....a lot quicker and better than a doctor and you get Clubcard points
So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to tesco.
He deposits five pounds and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample.
He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity
It will improve in two weeks".
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was
jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled.
He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine
samples
from his wife and daughter, and "pleasured himself" into the
mixture for good measure.
Jack hurried back to Tesco, eager to check what would happen
He deposits five pounds, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results
The computer prints the following:
1) Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2) your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal
shampoo.
3) Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4) Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a
lawyer.
5) And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will
never get better....
Thank you for shopping at Tesco
--
Wasn't me honest I never did it
Replies
Hmmmmmm Tesco....... - Posted on 2007-06-21 19:37:24
franonacbr 1100cc Pro Racer
Joined:
Sunday, July 09, 2006
Posts: 399
Location:
beccles
United Kingdom
pmsl have heard it before but still makes me chuckle
Hmmmmmm Tesco....... - Posted on 2007-06-20 22:17:53
Hmmmmmm Tesco....... - Posted on 2007-06-21 19:37:24
