View forum thread

Welcome Visitor, Please Login, you have 0 new personal messages

Training Courses..... - Posted on 2007-04-26 12:47:07

bubblesloves69
1300cc Superstar

Joined:
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
Posts: 1352
Location:
Next door to a pub in an interbred village, Kent
United Kingdom

FALL CLASSES FOR MEN REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY Monday, April 23 NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF CLASS CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM. Classes begin Monday, April 30, 2007 Class 1 How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays --- Step by Step, with Slide Presentation. Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM . Class 2 The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself? Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours. Class 3 Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? Group Practice. Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours. Class 4 Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor --- Pictures and Explanatory Graphics. Meets Saturday at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks. Class 5 After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink? Examples on Video. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM. Class 6 Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other. Help Line Support and Support Groups. Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM. Class 7 Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming. Open Forum. Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours. Class 8 Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health. Graphics and Audio Tapes. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours. Class 9 Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost --- Real Life Testimonials. Tuesday at 6:00 PM Location to be determined. Class 10 Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks? Driving Simulations. 4 weeks, Saturday noon, 2 hours. Class 11 Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife. Online Classes and role-playing . Tuesday at 7:00 PM, location to be determined. Class 12 How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours! Beginning at 7 :00 PM. Class 13 How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You 're Going To Be Late. Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours. Class 14 The Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used. Live Demonstration. Tuesday at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Replies


	Training Courses..... - Posted on 2007-04-26 14:43:55
gfisher 1300cc Superstar Joined: Tuesday, November 02, 2004 Posts: 2725 Location: Glasgow United Kingdom	sign me up as long as fit birds like you are going to be the teachers!

	Training Courses..... - Posted on 2007-04-26 14:24:25
bear 1300cc Superstar Joined: Friday, October 29, 2004 Posts: 5790 Location: cumbria United Kingdom	The above classes need not be taken if you follow the simple rules below. Always remember that women are pre programed to believe that they must change (read train) their men. Well two can play at that game! Class 1. This class can easily be avoided..... Drink Beer. it dosnt require ice! Class 2. Bog roll..... there is always some one else who will change it. This saves precious drinking time. (another class avoided). Class 3. Your a bloke arnt ya? The world is your urinal. nuff said! Class 4. Laundry baskets cost money to buy! Money that would be much better spent on some of lifes essentials! Beer for instance. besides the floor can accomadate so much more laundry! Class 5. Buy a dishwasher or better yet get someone else to either buy the dishwasher/do the dishes. (valuable drinking time is saved by the preceding method). Class 6. ARRRRGGGGGGHHHHH. there is nothing else for it you will have to shell out beer tokens for another remote, cos all that getting up and switching channels manually, interupts drinking beer so much, the beer might go flat and be wasted! Alternativly, either go to the pub, or bribe a small child with a shandy to change the channel (yes this does mean sacrificing a small amount of the precious amber fluid but it will be ok till the new remote arrives.) Class 7. Get someone else to find it (whatever it is) while they are looking have a beer. Class 8. True enuff you can bring flowers to her when she isnt feeling well (mardy bint), has the painters in,(see previous comment), birthdays, and anniversaries however require no flowers, take her out to a pub and buy her a beer or 10. Flowers can be picked out of gardens (dont get caught!). Class 9. Real men dont get lost, we take the scenic route thereby locating small free houses that sell really nice beer. Class 10. Dont get in a car with her unless she is taking you to the pub, hopefully paralell parking wont be an issue, if it is hopefully it will be on the way home from the said pub when you wont care anyway. Class 11. There are subtle differences between wives and mothers. Wives will call you a fat lazy git whereas mums think the sun shines out yer bum and the wench you married trapped you and isnt good enough for ya. You can shag the wife (headaches permitting). Oh and yer mum will generally be older than yer wife. Best bet is to make sure they become friends then you can get off to the pub whilst they gossip about her from number 43. Class 12. Shopping is easy. get two trolleys and split the shopping list in two. Your (the blokes) bit of the list should ONLY include the beer bit of the shopping. Whilst she is trundleing around the shop and you have already bought and paid for the beer it is permissible to locate the nearest pub and go there to wait for the little woman to finish her favorite contact sport. Class 13. Why have a wife if not to remind you of such anniversaries and birthdays that you need to celebrate (with copious amounts of beer of course!) note failure to remember the wifes birthday/wedding anniversary is not recommended get a computer program to remind you in plenty of time. Why they make such a fuss about wedding anniversaries is beyond me FFS we remembered to be there on the day . Class 14. Cooking is easy peasy anyway. however there are resturants and pubs that sell food and its already cooked! plus you can drink beer with it too. note. The writer of the above advice does not take ANY responsibility for any acts of extreme violence that occurs when you follow the said advice, nor does the writer accept ANY repsonsibility for the divorce procedings that may follow either. But whatever happens be safe in the knowledge that beer will never leave you for another man nor will the telly (mind she might try to bugger off with it when she leaves best bet is to chain it down and superglue the remote to the arm of yer favorite chair). Do not fall for all this new man bollocks (new man = bloke trying to be a woman!) right . the writer of the above is now off to the pub to drink some beer as all this thinking is thirsty work.

	Training Courses..... - Posted on 2007-04-26 15:07:38
bubblesloves69 1300cc Superstar Joined: Wednesday, November 03, 2004 Posts: 1352 Location: Next door to a pub in an interbred village, Kent United Kingdom	pmsl@ bear Yes I am the teacher gfisher, they call me Madam Bubbles. The top pupil of each class will get a special treat from me ;o) pmsl

	Training Courses..... - Posted on 2007-04-26 15:09:27
bear 1300cc Superstar Joined: Friday, October 29, 2004 Posts: 5790 Location: cumbria United Kingdom	Will the treat be lots of Beer? i think not.

	Training Courses..... - Posted on 2007-04-26 15:10:57
bubblesloves69 1300cc Superstar Joined: Wednesday, November 03, 2004 Posts: 1352 Location: Next door to a pub in an interbred village, Kent United Kingdom	pmsl It might be, but that does cost money bear and these courses are free lol

	Training Courses..... - Posted on 2007-04-27 07:16:41
bear 1300cc Superstar Joined: Friday, October 29, 2004 Posts: 5790 Location: cumbria United Kingdom	FREE?.......queue hollow laughter.... there is no such thing as free, for instance the bloke would have to give up some of his valuable drinking time.

	Training Courses..... - Posted on 2007-04-27 07:51:43
Roeby 1300cc Superstar Joined: Posts: 8884 Location: Derbyshire United Kingdom	bear .......... will u be drinking beer today by any chance?

	Training Courses..... - Posted on 2007-04-27 08:44:35
bubblesloves69 1300cc Superstar Joined: Wednesday, November 03, 2004 Posts: 1352 Location: Next door to a pub in an interbred village, Kent United Kingdom	All pupils are more than welcome to drink beer in class, however must bring at least a pint of beer or shot of vodka for the tutor ;o)

	Training Courses..... - Posted on 2007-04-27 08:48:53
adz 1300cc Superstar Joined: Saturday, September 03, 2005 Posts: 842 Location: Glasgow United Kingdom	Would bourboun be acceptable ? Got a great big bottle of Mr daniels that is screaming out to be drunk !!

	Training Courses..... - Posted on 2007-04-27 08:52:00
Roeby 1300cc Superstar Joined: Posts: 8884 Location: Derbyshire United Kingdom	oh nooooooooo adz everytime i have had a word with jack i end up talking to his mate down the big white telephone lol

	Training Courses..... - Posted on 2007-04-27 09:28:59
bubblesloves69 1300cc Superstar Joined: Wednesday, November 03, 2004 Posts: 1352 Location: Next door to a pub in an interbred village, Kent United Kingdom	hmmmmmmm yes bourbon will do just fine, but as it wasn't on the list make it a double lol

	Training Courses..... - Posted on 2007-04-27 09:58:15
bear 1300cc Superstar Joined: Friday, October 29, 2004 Posts: 5790 Location: cumbria United Kingdom	Me drink beer???? is the sky blue? (it is here lol) theres a bourbon in my local called knob creek , so will send bubbs a large knob (fnar fnar). whoo hooo only another hour till opening time! new man pah!!!!! cmon blokes do the right thing get thee to a pub and drink beer you know it makes sence.

	Training Courses..... - Posted on 2007-04-27 10:28:43
franonacbr 1100cc Pro Racer Joined: Sunday, July 09, 2006 Posts: 399 Location: beccles United Kingdom	i'll stick to the bourbon, tastes much nicer than beer

Hosted by