bad joke thread----------------------------------- - Posted on 2007-07-27 18:09:22
gixxer 1300cc Superstar
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please post all bad/old/frequently told jokes on this thread - then when we feel like killing ourselves, we can look at this thread to push us over the edge...
bad joke thread----------------------------------- - Posted on 2007-10-09 09:41:00
kuchenhilfen 1000cc Pro Racer
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In a bucket under the sink
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A Polar Bear walks into a bar and says 'Can I have...
...a pint of bitter please?'
Barman says 'Yes, but why the big paws?'
--
Before you criticise someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do have a go at them, you're a mile away and you've got their f*cking shoes.
bad joke thread----------------------------------- - Posted on 2007-10-09 19:15:33
the_ox 1300cc Superstar
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London
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Two parrots were sitting on a perch. One said to the other, "It smells fishy around here."
--
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, beer in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming
bad joke thread----------------------------------- - Posted on 2007-10-09 19:20:55
the_ox 1300cc Superstar
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* "Have you heard about the new pirate movie?"
* "It's rated aaarrrrrrrr."
--
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, beer in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming
bad joke thread----------------------------------- - Posted on 2008-02-07 21:39:48
The_Reverend 1300cc Superstar
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The foreman was sick and tired of having underqualified men turning up for work on his site so he devised a little quiz that would sort the wheat from the chaff, a simple enough quiz based on the arcane knowledge surrounding the building trade.
All was well until one day Padraig O'Mealoid wandered into the site cabin looking for work. The foreman wheels out his tried and trusted test, convinced that this boy is going to blow it. "Alright buoy," (good norfolk lad were the foreman) "just you be telling oi the difference between joist and girder."
"Sure and begorrah, isn't that a wicked hard question to be asking of a working man yer spalpeen." said young Padraig almost collapsing under the weight of the stereotype that had been dropped on him "but I think I have the answering of it.......Sure wasn't it Joist wrote Ulysses and Girder wrote Faust"
There's intellectual isn't it.
--
Semper in excreta somus solus profundum variat
bad joke thread----------------------------------- - Posted on 2008-02-08 09:03:18
kuchenhilfen 1000cc Pro Racer
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Wehey! someones resurrected the bad joke thread!
So, without further ado...
Q. Mahatma Gandhi, as you may know, walked barefoot throughout most of his lifetime, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him a rather frail person. With his odd diet, he also suffered from very bad breath. This technically made Gandhi what?
A. A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis!
OK, someone fetch my anorak...
--
27 yards of dental floss and she still won't give me a smile...
bad joke thread----------------------------------- - Posted on 2008-02-08 11:05:08
gixxer 1300cc Superstar
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hello old thread! how are you? have you lost weight?
--
'it wasnt me! i only just got here!'
bad joke thread----------------------------------- - Posted on 2008-02-08 11:44:28
kuchenhilfen 1000cc Pro Racer
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Why do Dwarfs giggle when they play football?
The grass tickles their bollocks.
--
27 yards of dental floss and she still won't give me a smile...
bad joke thread----------------------------------- - Posted on 2008-02-08 12:30:31
KaptainKwak 1300cc Superstar
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bolton
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Went to see me friends new baby last night, aww she is cute.
I was surprised when my friend asked me to wind her. I thought thats a bit harsh! . . . . I gave her a dead leg instead.
--
Wasn't me!
bad joke thread----------------------------------- - Posted on 2008-02-08 18:20:08
daisyduke 1300cc Superstar
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Location:
Bolton
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What do you call a bloke with a paper bag on his head
Russell
--
bad joke thread----------------------------------- - Posted on 2008-02-08 18:21:45
daisyduke 1300cc Superstar
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Bolton
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How did the artist paint a picture?
Easel-y.
--
bad joke thread----------------------------------- - Posted on 2008-02-08 18:22:21
daisyduke 1300cc Superstar
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Bolton
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How do you catch a squirrel?
Climb in a tree and act like a nut.
--
bad joke thread----------------------------------- - Posted on 2008-02-08 21:56:50
The_Reverend 1300cc Superstar
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Posts: 1078
Location:
Coventry: Why?
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Q. How do you get holy water?
A. Boil the hell out of it!
Q. How do you kill a Circus?
A. Go for the Juggler.
HIIiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Yahhhhhh!
--
Semper in excreta somus solus profundum variat
bad joke thread----------------------------------- - Posted on 2008-02-08 22:25:26
kuchenhilfen 1000cc Pro Racer
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Posts: 215
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In a bucket under the sink
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What will Postman Pat be called if he retires abroad?
Ex-pat.
What goes in, out, in, out, and stinks of piss?
Thora Hurd doing the Hokey-Cokey.
--
27 yards of dental floss and she still won't give me a smile...
bad joke thread----------------------------------- - Posted on 2008-02-09 16:34:45
daisyduke 1300cc Superstar
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Posts: 4574
Location:
Bolton
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Q. what do you call a deer with no eyes
A. No idea
Q. What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs
A. Still no idea
Q. what do you a deer with no eyes, no legs and no ears
bad joke thread----------------------------------- - Posted on 2007-07-27 18:09:22
bad joke thread----------------------------------- - Posted on 2007-10-09 06:47:26
bad joke thread----------------------------------- - Posted on 2007-10-09 09:41:00
bad joke thread----------------------------------- - Posted on 2008-02-07 21:39:48
bad joke thread----------------------------------- - Posted on 2008-02-08 18:21:45
