Comparing the sexes - Posted on 2006-10-09 19:21:56
KaptainKwak 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Monday, August 15, 2005
Posts: 4981
Location:
bolton
United Kingdom
While we are on this topic (thanks to ninj) thought i'd join in;
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN
Get in shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil, leave on hair for 15 minutes.
Wash face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes, until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger and jaffa cake body wash. Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower, spray mould spots with Exitmould. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Check entire body for spots, tweeze hairs. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see husband along the way, cover any exposed areas.
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN
Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake knob at her making woo-hoo sound.
Look at manly physique in mirror. Admire size of knob and scratch your bum.
Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Make fart noises real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your butt leaving those coarse hairs stuck on the soap. Shampoo hair, make shampoo Mohawk. Pee. Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry-off. Fail to notice water on floor. Admire knob size in mirror again.
Leave shower door open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake knob at her and make woo-hoo noise again.
Throw wet towel on bed.
Comparing the sexes - Posted on 2006-10-09 19:46:11
r1froog 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Sunday, October 02, 2005
Posts: 4352
Location:
aberdeen
United Kingdom
strange women in ure part of the country m8
Comparing the sexes - Posted on 2006-10-09 19:55:37
ana 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Monday, February 20, 2006
Posts: 1299
Location:
colchester
United Kingdom
pmsl kk, sure i know him ?? lol
Comparing the sexes - Posted on 2006-10-10 08:31:41
darcey 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Friday, October 29, 2004
Posts: 3114
Location:
Lincolnshire
United Kingdom
pmsl...oh dear this is so true..men are strange..The thing is we then have to lay on bed while essential aromatic oils are left to soak into our skin ..we are WOMAN!
Comparing the sexes - Posted on 2006-10-10 08:47:04
Roeby 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Posts: 8884
Location:
Derbyshire
United Kingdom
there is a real ring of truth to that lol
Comparing the sexes - Posted on 2006-10-10 08:50:35
darcey 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Friday, October 29, 2004
Posts: 3114
Location:
Lincolnshire
United Kingdom
Hm ..Wonder why men think waving thier dangly bits at us makes them irresistable to us ..One of the great mysteries of our time.lol
Comparing the sexes - Posted on 2006-10-10 09:20:35
gfisher 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
Posts: 2725
Location:
Glasgow
United Kingdom
if they're still dangly then they are probably not much use I agree
Comparing the sexes - Posted on 2006-10-10 09:30:46
The_Reverend 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
Posts: 1078
Location:
Coventry: Why?
United Kingdom
Some species have inflatable throat sacks, others have strange coloured bottoms, we have knobs, an urge to shake them at women and an ability to go "woo hoo".
It's evolution, don't knock it.
Comparing the sexes - Posted on 2006-10-10 09:47:08
darcey 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Friday, October 29, 2004
Posts: 3114
Location:
Lincolnshire
United Kingdom
pmsl@Reverend...there are some men that have all three of the above mentioned...lol
Comparing the sexes - Posted on 2006-10-10 10:03:37
blondie 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Friday, May 06, 2005
Posts: 3971
Location:
Gillingham, Kent
United Kingdom
i remember this one from a few months back...and me and darcey are very similar (lol) we put old socks back on afterwards!! hehehe....i throw towel on bed n all! and if a man happened to wave his dangly bits at me whilst passing, i would probably jump on it at this precise moment in time! pmsl ..... oh yer, and ive done the snot thing! pmsl
Comparing the sexes - Posted on 2006-10-10 11:08:16
r1froog 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Sunday, October 02, 2005
Posts: 4352
Location:
aberdeen
United Kingdom
snot thing?,,thats for boys,,aint it?? a whole year down the line and i discover that my sis is a boy.
Comparing the sexes - Posted on 2006-10-10 11:12:17
darcey 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Friday, October 29, 2004
Posts: 3114
Location:
Lincolnshire
United Kingdom
Stranger things have happened Froog...lol
Comparing the sexes - Posted on 2006-10-10 13:25:40
blondie 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Friday, May 06, 2005
Posts: 3971
Location:
Gillingham, Kent
United Kingdom
pmsl bruv...come on, who aint done the snot thing? and i sing holding the shower hose!! roflmao
Comparing the sexes - Posted on 2006-10-10 14:38:36
the_ox 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Saturday, October 30, 2004
Posts: 8803
Location:
London
United Kingdom
sad
so
sad
Comparing the sexes - Posted on 2006-10-10 15:32:57
exmitoman 1000cc Pro Racer
Joined:
Friday, November 05, 2004
Posts: 268
Location:
herne bay
United Kingdom
wish i had some1 to walk past and shake me knob at lol
Comparing the sexes - Posted on 2006-10-10 15:49:19
the_ox 1300cc Superstar
Joined:
Saturday, October 30, 2004
Posts: 8803
Location:
London
United Kingdom
If you ask kwap nice i`m sure he`ll oblige.
muwhahahahahaha
Comparing the sexes - Posted on 2006-10-09 19:21:56
1 
Comparing the sexes - Posted on 2006-10-09 19:55:37
Comparing the sexes - Posted on 2006-10-10 08:50:35
Comparing the sexes - Posted on 2006-10-10 09:30:46
